The Power Of Divine Energy

I got my first tattoo this weekend. My small form of rebellion, marking my body permanently in hopes of releasing some form of self-expression. It's a small little runic symbol tucked behind my ear, barely visible to anyone unless they were to catch me with my hair in a ponytail. Weeks of trying to decide what I wanted, and weeks of heading towards completely different paths, the day I walked in I had sort of backtracked completely and decided to go with this small symbol that came with a simple meaning, divine energy. Afterward, I really took the time to think about what exactly does this symbol I just permanently put on my body really means to me. 

When I was younger, my grandmother gifted me a set of runes. A little satchel full of stones, each with a tribal symbol that holds its own personal meaning. I was taught that if you ask a question, reach into the bag, pull out a stone, then the meaning behind that stone will have the answer to the question you seek. It's always been an interesting notion to me that in moments of total despair and confusion we tend to look towards the "supernatural" to give us answers. Myself, being someone who works in the field of energy and helping people via mediums that most would dubb with an element of magic, or having "special powers", it never ceases to amaze me the faith people will put into my abilities to fix their problems, not realizing that I'm merely just guiding them towards awakening that superhuman part of themselves. See that's the thing about these rules, they're not magic. I'm the magic. YOU are the magic. These stones and their meanings are just there to remind you of that. One in particular always calls out to me, naturally it's the one I chose to put on my body. The symbol of divine energy. That which flows through the earth flows through us, and out into the ethers. The same energy that helps flowers grow and bloom, give us life. The same energy that makes the stars shine, is also within us. SO, tell me, how does that not make each one of us magic? 

I've been asking a lot of questions these past few weeks. Getting caught up in the "Why's" of life. Why did this happen to me? Why did they do that to me? Why does this keep happening? Our egos have this nasty little habit of making everything about ourselves. Our ego also keeps us tragically human. Amidst asking ourselves all these questions, we're putting blame on ourselves for allowing others to hoodwink, bamboozle, lead us astray. Instead of trying to find the answer to these questions from external sources, we need to hear the call coming from within asking to be given more self-love and forgiveness. We won't find resolution from seeking justice on those who wronged us or get answers and apologies from those who don't believe they've done anything wrong. So, instead of wasting your energy hoping for certain outcomes or answers to your questions, you need to learn to understand that as hard as it might be to believe...not everything is about you. Not everyone loves or cares at the capacity you do. Not everyone has the same concepts of right vs. wrong. Some people are going through their own internal struggles, and their behavior and actions towards you is a projection of THEM, not YOU! Read that again. 

In all my life, I have known this to be true, all that exists in this world is love. Fear is not real, only projections created by our ego. When we tap into that source of life within us, we have all the answers we seek. Intuition, emotions, feelings are the magic that exists in the world and what makes each and every one of us superhuman. Yet, most people fear these gifts so much that they'll never allow themselves to tap into that inner genius that is more powerful than any human notion we might have. I rely on this belief, this supernatural side of myself in times when I'm not really sure what or why certain things are happening in my life. It's my trust in this, divine energy, and The Universe that has led me through some incredible adventures and gotten me through some of the darkest times of my life. 

Listening to my inner divinity and choosing this for my tattoo couldn't be more fitting for me, and comes at a time where I too must remind myself that I don't have to look far for my answers. Sometimes, it's remembering that you already have the answers to all the questions you seek. Knowing that when we look to ourselves and the divine energy that flows within us, we will never be lacking in that in which we are in need.   

The Beauty Of Being Lost

I've always wondered what it'd be like to be a person with a clear vision of life. A person who has an idea of how they were going to live their life start to finish. Where they're going and how they are getting there. Sometimes, I get upset with myself that I'm not as rigid and strict with my life plans as others are. Sometimes, I feel like a mess. Sometimes, I feel very lost. 

Growing up, I've always been considered by those around me to be somewhat of an idealist. My head has always been in the clouds, and to be honest, I don't think it intends to come down any time soon. As I've gotten older and perhaps, wiser, I've also learned that it can be an insanely beautiful thing to be lost. I think the problem with life, that brings us pain and heartaches is believing that we've ever been or will be "found". 

When we are kids, we have dreams of being doctors, superheroes, movie stars, maybe even professional golfers. As children, we are taught that it's ok to dream. It's ok to believe you can be whatever you'd like to be. We are given the freedom to see the world with this wide-eyed innocence because we are too young and naive to know any better. So tell me, at what point does reality shift into this dark, dim, world lacking hope and happiness? At what point is it time to "grow up" or "figure it out"? I'm still pretty convinced the whole idea of figuring anything out in this lifetime, is pretty much a myth. See that's the thing. The people who you see, living their dreams, and being successful doing so...you might not believe this, but they never grew up from that childhood optimism. They never let those fears of society creep in on them, telling them they're not good enough, or that they were going to fail. 

Whenever I travel to a new city, I love to take a day to just get lost. Walk down streets I've never seen before, find cute little cafes that I probably would have never found if I yelped or googled my way around. Having traveled by myself quite a bit, I always find it funny when I travel with new people and the question is always, without fail..."Do you even know where we are going?" NO. I don't. That's the point. Because when you allow yourself to get lost, sometimes, that's when you stumble upon something you might have never expected. 

It's the same in life. Sometimes, you have to just know what it is you want, and instead of planning out the specifics, allow life to just guide you to it. Who knows, you might just happen upon something really great along the way. The idea of being lost to many, is very scary, but why? We live in a time where all the information in the world, is sitting right in our back pockets if we need it. Perhaps, the problem is that we are too connected. Instead of having that internal connection and communication with ourselves, we are so focused on what our externals are telling us to do and not following our hearts. Not pursuing the things that will make us happy, and letting other people's fears dictate how we live our lives.

I have never worked a 9-5 office job, and believe me, I never will. It's amazing to me how some people consider this as lacking hard work and dedication. Playing professional golf I spent 8-10 hours a day working on my game and my mind. I started this job, seriously, at the age of 12. Some of the things I am most grateful for golf teaching me is, how to navigate life by lessons I've learned on the course. Realizing that majority of the hard work and advancements we make in life are due to our thoughts and what we believe, vs. the time we spend putting in physical labor. If you are someone who thinks hard work is sacrifice, you are wrong, and probably not very happy. I'll tell you what hard work is...Hard work is waking up everyday and fighting the resistance you feel to live a life of conformity instead of pursuing what actually makes you happy. Fighting that voice of fear that tells you to just go get that 9-5, give up your weeks and your time to make a paycheck, it's not like this dream of yours is ever going to take off. Majority of my daily energy is spent telling that voice to FUCK OFF! Trusting is something that doesn't come easily, but if you are someone with a dream, let me tell you it's 20% action and 80% trust. Cause without that trust, you won't be seeing any action. Each time I feel tight or lost, I just trust that The Universe, God, whatever you choose to believe, has my f*cking back and let me tell you I have yet to be let down.  

When we set these crazy specific plans for how our lives are supposed to go, every time we hit a snag, we are immediately on the defense. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? Baby, maybeeee it's happening for you? Silly, for you to think you have it figured out. Instead, when we allow ourselves to go with the flow of life, enjoying the journey rather than try to rush towards a destination we are greeted by beautiful and incredible experiences. Which, sometimes even come from those times we felt the most broken and lost. 

So yes, the truth is you are going to fail. You are going to be scared. You are going to get your heartbroken. There will be times where you feel extremely LOST, but just like those beautiful unknown city streets, allow yourself to take the time to wander through life. If you feel lost, maybe the answer you're looking for can be found in losing yourself a little bit more. You might end up finding something you never even knew you were looking for.    

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Planting the Seeds, Healing the Collective

Every time we come into the Fall season, we give ourselves an opportunity to reflect, plant our seeds for change, and grow and develop into the new year. What are you planting this fall? What ideas are you nurturing into the upcoming year? I strongly believe in the power of the seasons and the different cycles of our lives. Therefore, I believe it is so important to take the time necessary to really evaluate where we are at in our lives. What can we improve? In what areas have you grown, and in what areas can you proceed to grow? Time can be a terrible constraint and what makes it even worse is when we get stuck in cycles and continually repeat what is comfortable vs. acknowledging the steps we must take in order to grow. So, ask yourself what habits and cycles can you break today in order to bring more happiness into your life? Really challenge yourself to break old storylines and create new ones. 

All that being said, I think it’s so important to address what seems to be current collective energy in our society.  The world is currently going through a lot of changes and I believe, as individuals, by speaking our truth and healing ourselves we help heal the collective. I have no interest in getting political, but from an energetic standpoint, I really do believe this #MeToo movement has such a positive effect on healing our feminine collective. 

Two points I’d like to make here…when I say feminine, I don’t solely mean women. We all have both feminine and masculine energies. Men have feminine aspects that need to balanced, just as women have masculine qualities that can also get out of balance. As a collective, there is a huge imbalance. We are such a masculine driven society. Too much ego. Too much anger. Women instead of trying to compete with these masculine qualities, need to focus more on developing that nurturing feminine energy. Love, nurturing, sensitivity, all these feminine qualities are what is going to heal the world. As women, we are raised to believe that our emotions make us weak. We are raised in a culture where we are shamed for owning our sexuality/sensuality. Not only by men but by OTHER women! We live in such an emotionally repressed society that we’ve begun to dull all the things that make us incredibly special and loving beings and replaced them with fear and hate.

So, point number two brings me full circle and back to the main point of this post. Part of doing our self-analysis and healing ourselves is realizing where we’ve put our energies. What thoughts do we feed that are no longer serving us? When is it time to cut the cord and how do we do it? When traumatic events happen, we release insane amounts of energy, and I do believe that energy permeates. Sometimes when we feed the energy with more negativity like, fear, suppression, and anxiety we give life to this energy that can quite literally take on a life of it’s own and creates a “haunting” feeling. What I love about this whole Me Too movement is that these people are confronting something that has been haunting them. They are owning the trauma instead of allowing it to own them. By healing themselves, they heal the collective. So many more people have come forward and no longer feel shame or like they have to hide from this experience any longer. The amount of people who have been affected in some way or another is tragic to me, and honestly, we can do better as a society. Perception is personal, and if someone claims to have experienced trauma no matter how minor it is their personal experience. We can offer support and healing, instead of hate and anger. 

So, what energy monster have you created? What have you given life to that blocks you from happiness? Whether you believe it or not, we are all sensitive to energy. Depending on what you let follow you around people feel it and you can only vibrate in whatever you put out. So how can you change the vibration? 

Whether it’s career success, relationship success, or allowing more passion and happiness in your life. It’ll never flow in if you’ve created any energy force around yourself that radiates fear. Someone said to me the other day, “ Jen, you’re just a soft little sweetheart, you wish you were a badass…like me.” For starters, I’m sure you can deduce that statement came from a man. I love when people tell me their perception of me because we only see others how we see ourselves, so at that moment he showed me exactly who HE was and I immediately felt sad for that person. My response was, that you should make no mistake. I am soft, I am emotional, but I am a fucking badass. My response to anyone, who says to careless, feel less, be tougher is exactly that. Those feelings and emotions that other people are too afraid to feel, I confront, feel them fully, handle them, and express myself without fear. If you don’t think that’s badass, then try to do the same and let me know how terrified you are of a little bit of feelings. 

There is so much stigma around feeling too much that it strips us of our power. We create so many irrational fears that hinder us throughout our lives. It’s easier to hide those fears in some dark corner in our mind and let it manifest into some dark cloud looming above us, instead of confronting it, feeling it, and then RELEASING IT. People who own their emotions are so easily cast aside because the reality is they reflect back to others all the fears they are unwilling to confront themselves. 

Moral of the story is that times are changing. Things that were once suppressed are coming to light. Do you want to grow? Or, do you want to be stuck in an old cycle? If you think we came to this life to be robotic, unfeeling creatures…you are wrong. We came to feel, to have experiences. Sometimes that means we have to confront pain, but that's what brings moments of extreme joy. So, if you have no seeds to plant this fall, here’s your homework. Stop suppressing. Stop fearing. And just challenge yourself to actually start living. 
   

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Spiritual Detox- Day 7

Since September I have witnessed so many rapid shifts throughout my life, learning to find my voice and finding a clearer path to the things I truly want out of life. In August, while I was out in California for Q-school I really started dedicating more time to yoga and filling myself up with things that make me happy. After the disappointment of missing moving forward by 1 shot, I decided to dedicate the off-season to really putting forth the self-work I had postponed for so long. As a continuation from the habits I had formed in August, I continued putting a lot of time into doing more things that brought me peace and clarity. 

Anyone who knows me is aware of my strong interest in the metaphysical. Energy, Astrology, 5D universe. If it's anything Woo-Woo, I'm all over it. So it won't come as a surprise to most that what I attribute most of my life transformations to came from my experiences with Reiki healing. 

My yoga studio offers a once a month Full Moon Reiki Healing Circle, so naturally, I decided to check it out. For those who don't know, Reiki is the practice of "improving the flow of life energy within a person". Working with the different chakras, practitioners are trained to detect and alleviate energetic blockages on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level. Every month that I attended the session, it felt as something new had been unlocked in me. Whether it was these strong outbursts of emotions that guided me closer to my truth or finally releasing things I'd been bottling up for a long time. Seriously, like word vomit. I'd just be left thinking, "Oh shit, did I just say that out loud." 

It was in speaking my truth and accepting my emotions that I was able to change my life. My personal experience with Reiki is what led me to obtain my own practitioner certification. For 21 days after the training, you are meant to go through a "spiritual detox" (I'm on day 7). No Caffeine, no alcohol, no recreational drugs, and a limited amount of processed foods, while doing a specific morning meditation for 21 days in order to help you connect to yourself free of outer influences. Here are some of the things I've learned so far: 

Our Minds are Incredibly Powerful

The beliefs we give the energy to have the ability to expand into reality with the power of our minds. You have the ability to heal yourself and others all you have to do is believe it and project it.  

Learning your Triggers

Every day you say a little mantra. Just for today, I will not worry. Just for today, I will not be angry. When you start repeating this, ironically you start to become aware of all the things that make you worry and make you angry. 

Losing Attachments

You can't stop thoughts from happening. But you can learn how to lose the attachments to them. When we let thoughts flow in and out without reaction, we are able to learn more about who we are and work with ourselves in order to grow. 

Everything is Temporary

All these thoughts and feelings, just as they come, they also go. If you're in a moment where you're feeling down. Know that it will pass and chances are it'll make you stronger. 

Losing Toxic Attachments To People

Just like we lose attachments to our thoughts, we must do the same with people. It's important to realize the ways we give energy to other people. Is that energy being reciprocated? Sometimes people choose to act out of their own self-interest and have you around when it serves their needs. With people like this, I take notes and then learn to match that energy instead of giving it freely. I think we set expectations for people thinking they are better than they act when really we have to stop giving them so much credit. CUT. THE. CORD!

BEING UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU

There is a misconception that being spiritual or practicing a certain lifestyle looks a certain way. It might be for some, but it's up to you to find out who you are as an individual. I don't go dancing around talking to animals and saying I'm happy, always. No. Somedays I'm sweet and zen, and somedays I am a Sassy B*tch.  Being "zen" for me is learning to accept all the different parts of myself, regardless of the people who tell me "I shouldn't act a certain way" or "I shouldn't say and do certain things". I stopped caring a long time ago what people think of me, and I much less listen to the opinions of people who can't even accept themselves. So if you have a problem with me, well, I'd say I'm sorry....but I'm not. 

So to wrap it all up, if you have a chance to check out Reiki, DO IT! The last 7 days have been a lot of purging things that no longer serve me and further accepting parts of myself, even my "shadow side". When we embrace ourselves wholly, we begin to discover our own self-truth. When we learn to accept ourselves and be confident in who we are "flaws" and all, it helps the world and others around us to do the same! 

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